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firearms long enough

That's ok: you don't have to fit into a box. My suggestion, for now, would be to try not to worry about what "kind" of gender presentation you're going for, and just present however you feel like presenting on any given day. Happily, there's not too much social pressure against people assigned female dressing/grooming/acting "like a boy" (if only the same were true of the reverse). One of the nasty packs, in particular, after losing a member, is so constantly terrified that everyone feels bad for them. As I remember, the conclusion people draw is that this pack personality was always scared shitless but previously one of the pack members was able to control or conceal that fear, and sublimated the panic urges by being terrible to subordinates and other people. Minus that controlling element, what remained was a pack so permanently frightened as to be nonfunctional (incapable of speech and possibly cognitively handicapped).. Several chips were fla